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Someone please call Gordon Ramsay
WHO: Xie Lian, OPEN
WHEN: During the traveling to Taravast
WHERE: On the road
WHAT: Xie Lian cooks.
WARNINGS: Xie Lian cooks.
A. Kitchen nightmares
[Being on the road with a large group of people is actually pretty nice, but Xie Lian is a bit wary of mixing too much with humans, for Reasons. Still, he is too gregarious and congenial not to, plus, he’s actually strong enough to carry a lot of things, and he’s quite good at chores, so he’s making himself helpful, in spite of everything.
They’ve all been given rations, and when they stop for food, he’ll try and cook a little something in a slightly banged up pot on a small fire. It started out as soup with dumplings, or at least that’s what Xie Lian will say if asked, but right now the unidentified lumps in the pot are definitely not soup. As for what they are…. well, that’s a mystery.
But if he sees someone approach, Xie Lian will smile kindly.]
Have you eaten?
((OOC : PLEASE NOTE THAT XIE LIAN’S COOKING IS CANONICALLY SO BAD that it rendered some very powerful humans unconscious for hours and they woke up feeling really bad, and it incapacitated a god badly enough that he spoke with mangled punctuation for weeks if not months afterwards. Feel free to play up the effects this would have on your character as randomly as you wish, from your run-of-the-mill diarrhea to full out KO.))
B. Waste Not
[After whoever’s unfortunate adventure with the food some of it has ended up on the floor, and well, Xie Lian doesn’t like wasting food. He’s been hungry a lot before, too many times to let food go to waste, and besides, it hasn’t been on the floor long.
He’ll pick up one of the meatbun-like lumps, and clean it off a bit with his sleeve… and then bite into it and munch.
Nom.]
C.Ghost food poisoning
[If you’ve been keeping an eye on the ghost army, you might have seen Xie Lian occasionally walking among them and talking to them, as normally as he talks to other people around.
And after that last cooking adventure, you might have noticed a few of the ghost soldiers are either entirely missing - not just flickering away to reappear later, just, gone, and others seem to avoid Xie Lian coming near them and looks decidedly less solid than they ever have, near transparent.
Xie Lian doesn’t seem to notice the slight ostracism of the ghosts - some of them are still quite happy to converse with him and swap stories, but it is quite noticeable if you look closely. And if Xie Lian offers food, the ghosts will politely, but firmly refuse it.
Word got out, apparently.]
D.Crimson Rain
[He probably should be resting but…
The blood rain brings back memories, so many of them, and he can’t help sneaking out from the shelter that has been found, his bamboo hat over his head as some sort of vague protection against the splatter of red. Even then, it barely covers him, but he knows it will all disappear in the morning, so it doesn’t matter if red flowers bloom on his sleeves as he gets pelted.
He’s holding out his hand, absentmindedly watching the drops of blood fall on his hand.]
San Lang… It can’t be you, right? If you were here, you would have found me by now.
[His other hand goes to grab the crystal ring on the chain around his neck. This is still safe, and he will make sure to keep it safe.]
WHEN: During the traveling to Taravast
WHERE: On the road
WHAT: Xie Lian cooks.
WARNINGS: Xie Lian cooks.
A. Kitchen nightmares
[Being on the road with a large group of people is actually pretty nice, but Xie Lian is a bit wary of mixing too much with humans, for Reasons. Still, he is too gregarious and congenial not to, plus, he’s actually strong enough to carry a lot of things, and he’s quite good at chores, so he’s making himself helpful, in spite of everything.
They’ve all been given rations, and when they stop for food, he’ll try and cook a little something in a slightly banged up pot on a small fire. It started out as soup with dumplings, or at least that’s what Xie Lian will say if asked, but right now the unidentified lumps in the pot are definitely not soup. As for what they are…. well, that’s a mystery.
But if he sees someone approach, Xie Lian will smile kindly.]
Have you eaten?
((OOC : PLEASE NOTE THAT XIE LIAN’S COOKING IS CANONICALLY SO BAD that it rendered some very powerful humans unconscious for hours and they woke up feeling really bad, and it incapacitated a god badly enough that he spoke with mangled punctuation for weeks if not months afterwards. Feel free to play up the effects this would have on your character as randomly as you wish, from your run-of-the-mill diarrhea to full out KO.))
B. Waste Not
[After whoever’s unfortunate adventure with the food some of it has ended up on the floor, and well, Xie Lian doesn’t like wasting food. He’s been hungry a lot before, too many times to let food go to waste, and besides, it hasn’t been on the floor long.
He’ll pick up one of the meatbun-like lumps, and clean it off a bit with his sleeve… and then bite into it and munch.
Nom.]
C.Ghost food poisoning
[If you’ve been keeping an eye on the ghost army, you might have seen Xie Lian occasionally walking among them and talking to them, as normally as he talks to other people around.
And after that last cooking adventure, you might have noticed a few of the ghost soldiers are either entirely missing - not just flickering away to reappear later, just, gone, and others seem to avoid Xie Lian coming near them and looks decidedly less solid than they ever have, near transparent.
Xie Lian doesn’t seem to notice the slight ostracism of the ghosts - some of them are still quite happy to converse with him and swap stories, but it is quite noticeable if you look closely. And if Xie Lian offers food, the ghosts will politely, but firmly refuse it.
Word got out, apparently.]
D.Crimson Rain
[He probably should be resting but…
The blood rain brings back memories, so many of them, and he can’t help sneaking out from the shelter that has been found, his bamboo hat over his head as some sort of vague protection against the splatter of red. Even then, it barely covers him, but he knows it will all disappear in the morning, so it doesn’t matter if red flowers bloom on his sleeves as he gets pelted.
He’s holding out his hand, absentmindedly watching the drops of blood fall on his hand.]
San Lang… It can’t be you, right? If you were here, you would have found me by now.
[His other hand goes to grab the crystal ring on the chain around his neck. This is still safe, and he will make sure to keep it safe.]
no subject
It's only after a few bites that he realizes his companion is very silent, and he looks up, puzzled.]
... Daozhang, are you alright? You look a little pale. Did you walk in the sun too much today?
no subject
Not that that's much of an answer.
Finally, however, he parts his lips and tentatively breathes, quietly speaks.]
I...I must've...
[The sun has been warm and he probably hasn't drank enough water.
Xingchen knows that's not the problem here, but he'll let it slide. Slide, like how he ends up falling heavily against Xie Lian's side, some of the...food...sloshing over the side of the bowl and onto his own fingers. He doesn't move to correct any of it.]
no subject
He's warm and yet clammy at the same time, and his stomach seems to be rumbling... almost as if he's been poisoned, and yet, he's eaten nothing but Xie Lian's food...
Xie Lian makes a quick decision and lifts up the half unconscious cultivator in his arms. Such a big caravan must have a medic of some kind, somewhere.]
Someone, please help! This person is sick!