westwhere | every life is a pile of good things & bad things

[ Clara laughs, because River's right. She's seen the Doctor put all sorts of things in his mouth, greenery the least startling among them. She is curious about his last face—what happened when he regenersated?—but this isn't the time or place. ]

What a relief that I know the smell of mint, was worried my sense of smell had gone off.

[ She rolls her eyes affectionately looking at River again. ]

Has he ever cooked for you? Because you have to love sugar, I'm finding.

So many unique properties in grass. I've enjoyed a bit in my time.

[ He speaks idly, his voice a bit far away, lost in thought about ingredients. He grabs a few things, examines them, sets them down, rummages some more. Finally, he comes away from the refrigerator with a small armful of assorted cheeses, greens, more herbs. Then he goes to the pantry and grabs a few nuts of some kind, spreading it all out on the counter. He puts on his apron just because, and ties it up loosely in the back before he starts slowly cutting off pieces of cheese to sample. ]

[ In response to Clara, the Doctor cuts in, grinning brightly. ] Who haven't I cooked for? And sugar isn't always the main ingredient, Clara. In fact, I'm going to surprise you both with this next meal.

You know, I once won a cooking contest in Prague. [ He grins at the memory, so long ago now, but when he actually takes the time to recall a memory, it's like he's back there again. He can see his friends, he can smell the past, almost touch it. There's some sadness, naturally, because of who he was with, but he's trying to be better about allowing himself to remember those he's loved and lost, and to speak of them now and then. ]

An adventure with Harry and Sarah Jane. [ Oh, how he loved them. Loves them. Both gone now, and for a moment, he's quiet, his face turned away from River and Clara, lost in slicing up cheese. No, it doesn't always have to be sad. This was a good memory with the very best of friends. ]

I took Sarah Jane to a restaurant, The Dragon and the George. We had the venison roll! I was none too pleased to admit that it was actually quite good. [ The company was even better. His Sarah Jane. It strikes him for a moment, that he can feel his love for her so strongly, mixed with the deep pain over his loss of her. And yet, strangely enough, he's still glad to have this moment of remembering her. Maybe he should do this more often, maybe these are good things, these memories. Maybe the ones he loves don't always have to just sleep in his mind. To see Sarah Jane again, even just in his thoughts, is a gift. ]

You see, the restaurant was run by a Drak called Drakos and we were locked in a battle for the fate of the Earth, which all hinged on this cooking contest. Do you know how I won? [ He grins now, looking at them both over his shoulder. ] Salt, garlic, olive oil, and paprika. Naturally!

Edited 2022-12-20 17:26 (UTC)

[ River allows him a moment with the memory. He name drops often enough, but not the important ones, his friends, the ones who matter. ]

Yes, and I'm sure we're both very proud. [ To Clara, she says, ] Skills don't always translate between regenerations, I find.

But it is the one thing he's better at than I am.

[ She's hopeless in a kitchen unless you want a full English breakfast. For some inexplicable reason, Rory had thought frying an egg a vitally important life lesson to impart on his daughter. ]

So, Sweetie, if you're foregoing the sugar, what will we be treated to in its place?

Edited (I'm a hot mess who keeps clicking the button on accident. I'm so sorry.) 2022-12-23 07:29 (UTC)

[ Clara's quiet as he talks about Sarah Jane almost holding her breath. They'd sat together not that long ago, first doing silly Batman voices, and then inexplicably transitioning into why he never spoke about anyone from his past. She'd asked if he could even remember why he buried memories so deep and refused to speak of them. It wasn't a fair question in hindsight; she'd been afraid that one day she'd be a faded ghost to him, someone never to mention aloud again.

She'd been wrong.

Listening to him remember, her heart feels like it might squeeze out from beneath her ribcage. He listened to her when she prodded him, and here he is, talking about someone—two someones—without much prompting. He can't look at them, but she understands, and she's quietly proud. He'd told the man in white he was afraid of what it would take to not be lonely anymore, and she hopes by keeping these memories alive, sharing them, it goes a little way in knowing others can remember too. She'll think of Sarah Jane now, and the way she made the Doctor happy.

Clara's proud of him, and she thinks Sarah Jane would be too. At least she hopes she would be; she assumes anyone who's traveled with the Doctor has had much the same experience she has. He talks about so much without saying anything substantial at all sometimes.

Looking at River, she wonders for a second how open he is in front of her, for her to not be as softened by the words that seem casual but aren't. She's his wife, so maybe that makes sense; Clara isn't sure how much he opens up to her. Letting out a soft laugh under her breath, she raises an eyebrow. ]

I would like to try this non-sugary food, please. What River asked—what flavor profile do we need to prepare our mouths for?

[ She's teasing gently; she's always eaten whatever he puts in front of her, even if it's a tentative bite at first. It's easy to poke fun, but it isn't always as bad as she's making it out to be, and sometimes she thinks he's just being silly. ]

[ The Doctor shares a lot of details about his life and travels, but so rarely anything personal. He's more than willing to talk about the facts as they are, the places he's been, people he's met, things he's done that were fun and interesting. For anything deeper than such surface level knowledge, though, well he's always had a hard time with that, and there are few he would choose to share intimate information with. He's begun to here with Vanessa because they've been tied together from the start in ways that he hadn't anticipated and wouldn't want or be able to deny now.

It was nice, though, to speak of Harry and Sarah for a moment. He'll try that again sometime, with all the others he's loved through time.

But he's much happier pivoting to the topic of food, rooted in the here and now with two people he also cares for very much. ]

Well, that'll ruin the surprise! Honestly, you should know better.

[ A light jest, said with a smile over his shoulder. Though, he's quite sure that what he makes will be a hit.

Quickly, he gets his mixture of cheese, mint, and eggs poured into a pie crust, and pops it into the oven. Then he rubs his hands on his apron, a delighted smile on his face. ]

You'll both be quite sorry for all the teasing you've done.

Edited 2022-12-23 17:08 (UTC)

[ There aren't many secrets left between them, her and the Doctor, whether he remembers or not. She knows his secrets and the quiet truths he holds close, just as he knows hers. And there may be no one she's more alike, save for Jack. In some ways, she probably has less desire to dwell in the Doctor's reminiscences. They remind her of her own, and of what's missing.

And she's used to turning a conversation, avoiding emotion. A tendency as drilled into her as hiding the truth. ]

Oh, I'm never sorry for that, Sweetie.

[ For her part, Clara is willing to look at least a little intriqued. ]

Did you...beat those eggs at all; is that...did you put mint in the cheese?

[ Well, now she just looks horrified and looks over at River. ]

You're a brave woman.

[ She's mostly joking, because Clara's lived through the Doctor's cooking and it is mostly—about 92% of the time—palatable. ]

And you, sir, are like a tornado in the kitchen.

[ With that, she gets up to start washing dishes, making a sinkful of hot, soapy water. ]

[ He wouldn't expect River to actually be sorry for teasing him, of course. It's the way of things between them and he wouldn't want it any other way, truth be told, though he'd teasingly pretend otherwise on the surface. ]

I'm making something good for us to eat, now when would I have had the time to stop and clean the dishes? Honestly!

[ For now, he lets Clara tend to the dishes while he goes back into the refrigerator for a small dessert: a chocolate pudding he'd made earlier, with whipped cream and sprinkles on top. He grabs a few spoons, scoops up a large helping, and then goes to River, holding out the spoon and grinning as he insists she try it. ]

Come now, dear, his cooking hasn't done us any real damage yet.

[ Granted, she's also withstood Amy in the kitchen and any number of stranger and less palatable things, so maybe one shouldn't ask her.

Teasing the Doctor, however, is as natural as breathing. She's also prone to giving in to him far too easily, a fact of which he's all too aware as far as she's concerned. ]

Sweetie, I haven't even had breakfast.

[ But it's really only a token protestation. He really isn't terrible in the kitchen. If he was, there'd have been an uprising days ago when he took up station there. And he does have a noted fondness for sweets.

It's actually quite good, and she steals another bite. She did, after all, skip breakfast. ]

[ Clara watches the pair of them and realizes she's never really seem them interact together. It's curious, she wouldn't guess they're married, but they are comfortable around one another which is nice to see. ]

I have to admit, he made me a sandwich once that sounded bonkers, but it was really good. Mango and hardboiled egg, who knew?

[ There were other things involved, and it was quite...soggy, but not in an awful way. ]

The things you must've eaten, River. How long have you been married?

[ Clara only knows the Doctor never mentioned his marriage until he had to, and she's never understood why because for the most part, she knows not to pry. Personal questions tend to be glossed over, pushed aside as she's distracted by something or someplace unknown. ]

This is a perfectly acceptable breakfast anyway!

[ But then, the Doctor has never really had the best sense of what the proper food to eat is. It's probably a wonder to many (or not a wonder) that he is the way he is, eating like he does. ]

Better than plain, ordinary eggs in any case.

[ He's more than happy to feed River another bite, pleased that she's enjoying it. He purposefully avoids the question about how long they've been married because it's not exactly an easy question to answer when you're both time travelers. ]

[ After silently demanding a final bite, she smiles affectionately at her husband again before glancing back up at Clara. ]

He does have his moments. You should have met my mother in the kitchen. Between the two of them, it's no small wonder Rory and I made it through so many family dinners.

[ As to her question, ]

It all depends on your perspective, sweetie. It's certainly been longer for him than it has for me. Well, maybe not this young. And some might say we aren't married at all. The timeline did collapse.

[ She looks faraway for a moment, then she shrugs. ]

It might have been days, it might have been years, it might have been lifetimes.

[ Clara smiles just a little and dries her hands, leaning against the counter. ]

The perils of time travel.

[ She isn't sure what else to say; she knows what she said to the Doctor on the docks, and she knows River has an idea of Clara's life with him later. Are her feelings right or misguided? She was at a point in time with him on Trenzelore, watching him get old, pleading with the Time Lords for more time—her love for him clicked into place. And then he changed. Then she was here and she mistakenly thought their extra time would be to her benefit.

It's too much to think about, so she changes the subject, sitting down. ]

Did either of you get a sword or shield? I think I have a magic pocket knife. When I hold it in my palm it's small, but as soon as I grab the hilt, it turns into an actual my-sized sword.

every life is a pile of good things & bad things

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