a ray of light shone in my darkness

[bearshermark]

WHO: Eleven + various! YOU, if u want
WHEN: Late May
WHERE: The farm
WHAT: Catch-all for misc threads
WARNINGS: Violence, dark topics?

[ooc: prompts in comments. if you've got an idea for a thread outside of El's open thread that you think would work better here, go for it. If you'd like to work something out, pm or plurk!]

Comments

[bearshermark]

Eleven shifted with a short hum. He remembered months of quiet, buried terror, half-convinced that he may have brought about the deaths of everyone he'd loved. Finding them alive and well in the Last Bastion had been the weight he'd needed lifted from his shoulders enough to breathe and retain a will to fight after having lost everything else.

"You did plenty," he assured on a sigh. "More than Carnelian even knows. ..I don't think I could ever have forgiven Heliodor, otherwise."

[unswervingcompanion]

Hendrik shook his head as he had doubts that he did plenty. Yes he had their lives spared but he only began to feel a little bit better when the village had been rebuilt. He remembered boys prancing around and picking up wooden swords saying they were the Luminary and they would save the world.

And that was the only time a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. But of course the boy had his back to him and would never witness such a thing. "I informed his Majesty of what I had done only after we had been in Cobblestone." After Carnelian had recovered and seemed more at peace in a slight sense for his memories had been robbed and he was distraught over wanting to find Princess Jade.

The Luminary might've forgiven Heliodor, but Hendrik would have regrets forever. "We had not acted as we should have." So he tried to atone on and on, but wondered if he would ever truly make peace with Heliodor's role and his own even if he had acted on wrong information. His crimes seemed pretty unforgiveable in his own mind.

[bearshermark]

"No," he admitted, frowning.

The people of Cobblestone had done nothing to deserve their village burned or a lengthy imprisonment, but that wasn't a burden he could relieve anyone of. The blame for that rested with Mordegon's corruption.

"But you've done your best to make amends since. You were the hope people needed when I couldn't be. ..And that means more to me than even you could know."

[unswervingcompanion]

The knight was quiet, still blaming himself for not seeing what his master had become and for not seeing what his friend had turned into because maybe then his choices would've been different.

No, they most definitely would have been different.

He opened his mouth to say he did nothing but in the end he ended up closing it gently. The fact that the Luminary thought highly of him had his mind quietly reeling. So it took him a moment or six before he spoke again, this time in a lower tone.

"You had your own trials to face. Of that I am certain."

[bearshermark]

Eleven fell quiet, uncertain of how to address the 'trials' Hendrik assumed he must have undergone. He'd spent nearly the entirety of those months unconscious.

"That's right," he said once he'd tired of the whispers again. "I haven't told you yet. I was recovering in Queen Marina's care during that time. It was only because of them that I lived after the Fall."

[unswervingcompanion]

He wasn't sure if he'd caused the other pain at remembering his time away from the world. No one had known what had become of the boy and Hendrik had listened. Guilt had run through him and seemed to be more of what he ran on than his own blood. But he was quiet and respectful, trying not to 'break' the thin layer of peace that had finally descended between them.

The knight didn't want to upset the apple cart so to speak.

The purple head turned slightly at hearing the Luminary's voice again and he blinked a few times, trying to register the words. "Queen Marina of the sea?" That almost sounded ridiculous because they lived under the waters. How had the other breathed?

[bearshermark]

"Yes," Eleven answered, voice tinged with surprise. He hadn't thought Hendrik would know of her. "They poured everything into their songs to save me. I'd only woken a day or two before I found the Bastion."

His eyes dropped his lap. "It must have been difficult, with everyone depending on you."

[unswervingcompanion]

He'd heard of her only through stories Jasper had read to him. But he personally hadn't ever met her or heard of her any other way. And the Luminary couldn't see it, but the knight blinked almost owlishly at the fanciful images in his head of she and her people singing.

Music saved the Luminary? Well there was Cetacea so that couldn't be too much of a stretch. In the boy's company he'd seen so very many strange and wondrous things and none that he could ever think to begin to coherently explain. And yet he'd experienced them.

At the last though, Hendrik shook his head and looked at the sky, his tone soft. "I still have much to atone for."

[bearshermark]

Eleven hummed a mild note, idly fiddling with the clasp on his bag.

"Well, that makes two of us."

[unswervingcompanion]

The purple head shook and the armor shifted as Hendrik continued his watch. "I do not see how that is possible."

Guilt and remorse ate at him constantly, knowing he could've done so much more, helped so much more and not hunted the Luminary as he'd been instructed to do. How he could've believed the king that a baby was the downfall..well they had been so very wrong. And he didn't let himself think that if he'd dealt the killing blow that night in Dundrasil up on the cliff before Princess Jade launched herself to hold onto the precious boy..so very much would've been lost if his blade had hit its intended mark.

[bearshermark]

Eleven smiled to himself; Hendrik thought too highly of him.

"..A lot of people lost their lives when Yggdrasil fell. It should never have happened, but I was too weak and unprepared.."

[unswervingcompanion]

"You could not have saved the world at that time." Hendrik countered softly. "None of us were ready, nor could we have been properly prepared."

The loss of Veronica still hurt him and the knight's head went down slightly, recalling what he had seen in the forest near Arboria.

[bearshermark]

Eleven's jaw set, eyes downcast. He knew that, but still it pained him. He breathed a long sigh and shook his head.

"So," he said again, stretching a leg out, "That makes two of us."

[unswervingcompanion]

It occurred to him that they shouldn't really be having this talk but mentally the knight shrugged it off. "And what will you do when we return home?

His gaze looked up at the stars, searching for answers among them perhaps.

"We cannot stay here forever."

[bearshermark]

"I don't want to stay here forever."

The very idea of that shivered through him unpleasantly. Even covered in darkness as Erdrea was, he far preferred it to the heavy grip of undeath over this world with not even the idea of Yggdrasil to offer solace.

"No," he said, picking dirt off the drape of his coat, "We need to go back and do everything we can- whatever that might be- to make things right."

[unswervingcompanion]

Well hearing that the boy didn't want to stay here forever was a relief. And it felt as if some heavy weight had just tumbled off of Hendrik's broad shoulders.

His eyes remained forward and he sighed, trying to let the relaxation sweep through him because he had wondered many nights what the other was thinking about this place versus Erdrea. So he closed his eyes momentarily and spoke softly.

"There will be much more work to do."

[bearshermark]

"Yes," he agreed with a bit of a hapless shrug. Talk of what they would do when they returned to Erdrea felt so far-flung.

"But we have a lot of work to do here before we even get that far." It would take months more at the very least, he was sure.

[unswervingcompanion]

Hendrik knew he had to keep his attention on the here and now, it had just been such a relief to hear the other speak of home even if for a moment. "Yes and we will do as much as we can to help here before we return."

In the meantime of course he would keep to his oath and make sure the Luminary didn't get into too much trouble and keep him safe.