I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time

[bearshermark]

WHO: Eleven + others, with open prompts post-beacon.
WHEN: pre- and post-beacon
WHERE: Taravast
WHAT: Various things
WARNINGS: Feelings. Spoilers for late Act II/beginning of Act III DQXI.

Prompts in comments

Comments

[lancifolium]

She hated that he couldn't, or wouldn't take her along with him, and she hated that she couldn't bring herself to mention it and risk rejection. It was something she knew she would come to regret as the weeks and months without him went by.

Keeping her arms around him, not yet willing to even so much as try to hold onto him a little less tightly, Lily hid her face against his shoulder, considering what it was she had to look forward to without him. Even if she went home, she knew she wasn't going to be able to shake this sadness off easily. The loss of him was going to stay with her for a long time.

"Eleven," Lily lifted her head, resting it against his and she closed her eyes and tried to fight off the tears once more.

[bearshermark]

Eleven shushed her with a shake of his head. His will was already fraying the longer he thought about it. Spiraled down a meandering path of what-ifs that sounded livable until inevitably, the thought of leaving Erdrea to darkness, where the reincarnation cycle was broken and the threat of devastation on par with this world seized him again.

"I can't," he repeated helplessly. "I can't."

And finally, envisioning cities ruled by the undead in Erdrea, crumbling ruins where there were once thriving kingdoms, he loosed his hold on her and forced his arms to drop.

"Goddess, I'm sorry, but I can't leave Erdrea to darkness- without hope. I wish.."

He wished a lot of things.

[lancifolium]

"No," she shuddered, sucking in a deep breath and holding it as she forced her arms to fall away from him. "You can't." She would never know the road he had to walk, that much was true, but she knew enough to know that there wasn't much of a choice. There were things in his world that only he could fix.

"You've got to go El," Lily was crying, but her words still carried enough conviction to give them weight. Just because she hated this, didn't make it any less true. "I don't know if I can watch," she drew back, putting space between them.

"I don't think I can." Was it a failing that she wouldn't be able to stay at his side to the end?

[bearshermark]

The urge to reach for her and draw her back to him was strong. Instead, Eleven could only watch helplessly and curse his title once more. His hands curled to fists at his side as he nodded.

He'd imagined what it would be like to watch Lily return to her own world enough times to understand the inevitable pain of it. If it was terrible now, then.. Eleven loosed a breath and shivered.

For the first time, he wished his heart wasn't so fragile, that he could harden it against Lily's tears as well as his own. What small solace he had left came in imagining that as he tore Mordegon from his floating fortress and ended his reign with righteous fury, his decision would feel vindicated. He'd watch the sun rise, then- more beautiful than any other dawn- and weather the years to follow with quiet resolve.

"It's okay," he assured, forcing himself to stand- to look around and begin to organize what he needed and leave what he didn't. Selfishly, he wanted her to come with him- to extend their time together for as long as possible despite the futility of it, and how much more painful it would be in the end.

Eleven swallowed. "If you want, I can just.. leave the room, if it would be easier."

[lancifolium]

"We'll say goodbye and both leave together. I'll take the long way to the Beacon. I'm sure you're not the only person I'll be seeing off today, and I should go, but, after." If she let herself think about who else she might be losing this fragile veneer of composure was doomed. Just mentioning his departure was enough to make her voice take on a watery tremble.

Lily stood and watched him, taking the last chance she had to memorize the shape of him as he got his things together. "You're going to be brilliant Eleven," she said suddenly, too sad to have any disdain for the weakness in her voice. "I'm very proud of you," her hand fell to her bracer, turning it around her wrist as she blinked back a fresh onslaught of tears.

[bearshermark]

Eleven turned back to her with furrowed brows and a frown. Goddess, but he couldn't look at her without his heart breaking over again. What he wouldn't give to be able to tell her that he'd stay, to watch her misery ease into comfort and later, joy.

But Erdrea was not one of those things.

He stepped toward her, eyes falling to her wrist. How short-sighted he'd been, to make that for her, to think it would bring her anything but pain. He'd poured his heart into it, praying it would mean something.

It took a few tries to form the shape of the words he wanted to say. They felt so final in his mind that his voice strained to speak them.

"..Another life, love. We'll meet again."