westwhere | you’re the key that got lost

He nodded agreement; it was a big city, and there was surely more to see of it. The one place that didn't interest him at all was the necromantic district.

"I've found a nice one hidden in the lower districts I meditate at every morning," he said easily, feeling like his nerves might finally be settling. "It's quite small, but peaceful.. I've been trying a lot of different foods while we're here, too."

"The food has definitely been wonderful - if I never have to eat millet day in and day out, it'll be too soon." Reaching out to idly touch the edge of a flower they walked passed she turned to look at him.

"That reminds me, I promised you pie at some point didn't I? I think it's at least near the lower districts - you'll have to show me your garden when we go." Was she supposed to be reminding him of that? It had sounded like a lovely idea at the time, but that evening Lily lacked the carefree nature that wine seemed to bless her with.

Eleven smiled, though some of his nerves returned. It wasn't his garden of course and it was a modest space of green but he found himself self-conscious about the cramped simplicity of it.

"Yes. I think it would be a nice place to enjoy ourselves."

Hearing his remark Lily missed a step, wobbling slightly as she quickly regained her footing. Quickly reminding herself that it was not worth reading into she tried to cover her momentary lapse in composure by humming thoughtfully. There was absolutely no way he meant that in any way that went beyond the polite and the friendly, however provocative it had struck her.

"It does," oh Merlin's tits why was making simple conversation with someone she'd spoken to many times so hard all of a sudden? "If you aren't careful I'll end up dragging you all over this city before long."

He laughed and offered her a hand to help steady her then peered about the ground for what may have disrupted her feet. Somehow, it was easier to talk if he wasn't looking directly at her.

"That doesn't sound so bad," he mused, "I think the only place I'd rather not visit is the necromantic district."

Reaching for his hand she realized after she had held onto it for a second too long that she had, in fact, held onto it for a second too long and this had lapsed from him politely assisting her to a different situation entirely. He wasn't pulling away, and so neither did she, partly intrigued to see what he would do, and rather uncertain what to make of it.

"It's a bit grim there," she said in a voice just a touch reedier with nervousness than it had been. "And the food vendors are quite awful, nothing half as good as the places you know." She was certain she sounded like the biggest wanker on earth.

Eleven swallowed, nodding woodenly. He'd thought she'd let go once she got over her bout of unsteadiness, but here they were, hands still linked while they walked. He found himself acutely aware of it and little else- how small her hand was, how soft. The certainty that he'd held only moments ago vanished.

He should probably let go, but if she wanted to hold his hand (and it seemed as though she did?) and he withdrew, then he'd be telling her he wasn't interested by doing so.

But then, was he interested..?

His mind cast back to the forest, of how she'd felt against him then. If he hadn't been terrifyingly on edge, then, well... Eleven glanced off, ears burning beneath his hair. Nerves ate his stomach alive, then crawled up his chest to veer down his arm to the hand that held hers. Heat spread through his palm, tingling through his fingers and threatening pinpricks of slickness through roughened skin.

Belatedly, he realized he should have said something long before now.

"I- ah, it's not surprising," he managed, not quite able to look at her. "People unable to respect death.."

Right then. He was not going to let go of her hand either.

She had encountered this sense of a stand-off being played out before when blokes at school had shot their shot, as it were. Usually, in those moments she understood what was going on but then usually there had been no unexpected if necessary kissing to muddy the waters.

Lily didn't particularly care for things that made her feel quite this awkward, and she found herself frowning thoughtfully at the ground, mulling it over while they walked.

"Snogging you was nice," she began rather abruptly, deciding to cut straight to the chase in the hopes that it might help her feel less like a colossally awkward wanker. "But I am sorry I had to shove you like that, I don't usually launch myself at people."

Naturally, saying that only made her feel more like a colossally awkward wanker. "I just, felt it was right to say something," Lily concluded, her momentum evaporating.

The burn that had started in his ears erupted all over his face. His hand withdrew without thought in an effort to hide it.

Nice???

Several beats of embarrassed silence passed before he finally felt as though he could manage speech. His face remained buried in his hands, though the heel of his palms lifted from his mouth.

"Um, thanks. I- it.." he breathed and very, very slowly, laxed his hands. "I, uh, didn't mind.. any of it- terribly."

That had been a series of terrible choices, culminating in Eleven dropping her hand to hide his face behind it. While she hadn't known what sort of reaction to expect, that had not been it, and she went red in the face while she looked on, utterly mortified by her own ineptitude.

"Oh."

Brilliant.

Eleven chanced a look at her, saw the redness in her face, and felt the color bloom in his own again. His eyes dropped, clutching at his arm with one hand. Goddess, what was this situation?

"..So uh, it's okay." He vaguely recalled some thread of apology for shoving him, and that was something he'd been doing a decent-ish job trying not to think about. Eleven cleared his throat.

"I also don't, I'm not- I haven't really.. with people. I mean, I'm glad if... or well, it might have been nice if not for.."

"With people?" Lily blinked, bewildered before she shook her head and frowned, wishing her thoughts would just clear now that she had addressed the elephant in the room. "I mean without the danger it was," stopping herself from using the word nice again Lily opted to instead fall silent and look at him sheepishly. Blokes were so much easier to manage when you were telling them off.

"You're a very good friend Eleven." Which she hoped sounded less like a dismissal and more like an explanation - though it might have just sounded like she was grasping at straws, which she was.

"I'd hate to not be friends because I threw you against a tree and snogged you." Because she felt she could trust him, and she hadn't found many people here she got that sense from but communicating that point failed as miserably as her attempt at being direct.

Very good friend.

"Oh." Eleven straightened, heart falling as the color in his face and associated embarrassment finally began to recede. The question he'd been asking himself all night seemed to finally have an answer, and he told himself that he wasn't disappointed.

"No, of course we're still friends." He rubbed the back of his neck, glancing off with a grimace. Goddess, he was an idiot. "I'm sorry, if you were worried about that. I- I know you only did it because you thought we were.. um, under attack. It's okay. I never once thought poorly of you for it."

Which.. didn't answer why she wanted to hold his hand, but looking her over, he couldn't think of a good way to ask. Maybe it was just a friendly gesture where she was from..?

"Good," she said, relieved and wholly oblivious to how he might have taken her words. "I don't, often, with people either," which still sounded very weird, even when she was saying back to him.

Frustrated with herself, and how dismally this had gone Lily felt herself go a deeper shade of red as she forced herself to press on, determined to get her footing (and hopefully her ability to form cohesive sentences) back. "It would be awful if we stopped talking about interesting things, or eating large amounts of meat."

By the time she finished her face easily matched the color of her hair, clueless as to whether or not she was making things better or worse.

Eleven's brows creased watching her. There was an avenue with which to take all of that perfectly innocently but for the shade of her skin. But she'd said friends, and he'd hate to ruin that by reading too much more into anything. Even if..

Uncertainty tore at him. Much as though they were still holding hands, he found himself afraid of accidentally rejecting her by withdrawing- only this time in words. But she'd said..

"Lily," he said, rather fruitlessly as he had nothing to follow it with. After a few moments of floundering, he finally settled on simply offering out his hand.

Edited 2021-09-08 04:36 (UTC)

Eleven was hardly alone in his uncertainty. When he held out his hand she paused, looking at it for a moment before she lifted her eyes back to his face, narrowing them thoughtfully.

In an instant she seemed to make up her mind, slipping her hand back into his - for a terrifying, awkward moment it almost felt like she meant to actually shake his hand for some ridiculous, inexplicable reason, though thankfully Lily managed to get her fumbling under control enough to stop herself.

"What?" It came out several beats too late, and completely ruined her budding streak of not saying, or doing anything too stupid.

For a moment, hope flared, then withered just as quickly. He'd thought offering his hand without pretense to see if she took it might mean something, but now he wasn't quite so sure.

Eleven looked at their joined hands, then gently closed his fingers over hers.

"Um," he said eloquently, raising his eyes to meet hers again and scrambling for something meaningful to say. "I, uh, like your hair."

Edited 2021-09-08 05:09 (UTC)

Pointedly ignoring the little flutter of nerves she felt when he laced their fingers together she laughed awkwardly in response to the compliment.

"I grew it myself," which she knew sounded stupid, but she said it anyway, smiling at him tentatively as she did so.

Impulsively she took a step closer, kissing his cheek briefly. "I think you're a wonderfully good person - it's nice to be with you."

Eleven huffed something like a nervous laugh, then colored once more as she stepped in close. Left to wonder once again, torn between what she said and the implications of her actions. But.. perhaps it was that she didn't know herself.

And really, there were only two ways to resolve the matter for an absolutely certainty. He lacked the boldness to follow her previous example, but.. neither had he ever attempted to ask anyone on a date before. His stomach knotted. With her hand in his, there would never be a better moment to ask.

"Did- um- were you, did you want to be.. just friends?"

Edited 2021-09-08 05:34 (UTC)

"You mean friends without," and then, a floundering pause later - "trees?" She didn't know how else to refer to the realm beyond just friends with Eleven.

Lily looked at him, trying to collect her thoughts and present them at least a little more clearly and usefully. "I wouldn't like it if we couldn't speak to one another properly, or go to the other for help because we treed and it went awry, but," the blush had almost drained away completely before it returned, rendering her mute and leaving her to finish her thought with a shy shrug. "Do you?"

Eleven stared for a moment. Never had he once thought anyone could make trees of all things sound... somehow improper.

The nerves crept up his back and sat discomfiting between his shoulders this time. She didn't want to ruin their friendship if things between them didn't work out, but it was hard to think of a way things might turn so terribly as to ruin their ability to speak to one another ever again. But then, neither had he ever been in a relationship.

Eleven loosed a heavy breath, caught up in the feeling of being on the cusp of something and wondering whether or not it was worth trying or stepping back from. But.. if he stepped back from it, he'd only keep wondering.

"I.. I really like trees, actually."

Well, that just wasn't fair. She had maintained cohesion through at least two and a half mostly informative sentences only to have him fail to answer the same question. Instead of reproach, however, she laughed nervously, looking about the gardens before she squinted at him again, her head cocked to the side.

"Was that meant as an invitation?"

Eleven used only his free hand in an effort to mash his reddened face into submission. He'd only known that he should answer honestly, and that was what had come off his tongue?

"Sorry," he said, wincing and apologetic. "Um, yes. ..I don't know how to do this."

Because he's sure that wasn't obvious already. Why ever had the Goddess given him a voice if he was only going to wield it poorly?

"Eleven!" Lily began with a gentle laugh, catching his other wrist to tug his hand away from his face, ducking her head slightly as she attempting to catch his eye.

"This is ridiculous! If we can survive legions of undead, and unruly ghosts, and whatever those forest people were on about, we can bloody well kiss if we want to." She was still red in the face, but she gave him a rather decisive nod, "near or on whatever sort of plants we might fancy." It was all the plaintiveness she had needed before when broaching this topic in the first place, come a little late, but hopefully not too late. Lily wasn't an expert, but she understood blokes enough to know sometimes a girl had to put her foot down and lay things out.

Put that way, it really did sound ridiculous, but even so, his face deepened a fair few shades with how forthright she was about it.

Eleven cleared his throat again and sheepishly raised his eyes to hers.

"..If you want," he managed, voice somewhat strained despite her sound reasoning. "It would be nice, I think."

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