[ A part of her wishes he would. By offering to be the one to play sacrifice, Luffy spares her the hurt of stirring up the terrors of her past. Still, he can't shoulder all this burden alone, just like Nami can't look at all the conviction blazing in those dark eyes without feeling unworthy.
She wants the hand he's settled on her arm to be more reassuring, but looking back at the stone gate's inscription, there's probably nothing in this world or the one they came from that could do that for her. While Luffy shields her as much as he can with this choice, he can't protect her from everything the gate asks of them.
Playing the villain isn't something Nami ever wanted to do, not when she was a girl, and not now, just when being surrounded by friends had started to let her believe she'd never have to take up a mantle like that again. Nami will do it. She's good at it - as the version of Nojiko whispering into her head reminds her. If Luffy can willingly give himself up to be chained and hurt, she can be the one to take on the grim business of hurting someone she cares about because something has to be done.
Drained nearly to the brink by their malicious surroundings, Nami steels her resolve, her hand settling firmly on Luffy's shoulder, her eyes clouding with all the tears she won't permit herself to shed until it's over. ] That's right. [ 'It has to be like this because it's always going to be like this for you.' Promises a voice full of a mother's love and disappointment, and the last sound Nami wants to hear while she's guiding Luffy back against the uneven stone wall behind him before stooping to get the weighty metal ring around his ankle. ] I'll let you out again.
[ After she goes through the gates alone.
There's a slight clatter as her hands - colder and shakier than she's ever known them to be - close around the dagger's hilt, making the blade tap against the stone it sits on before she pulls it closer and straightens up to chain his wrists to the walls as well. It has to be a betrayal or it won't work, and Nami's made enough people feel stabbed in the back to know that's not something that works if you do it in half-measures.
Nami's eyes are cold when they fix on Luffy's again, her hold on the dagger tightening as she squares her jaw, lips set in a firm, determined line, wanting to believe the voice that sounds the most like hers in the cacophony of loathing that's taken deep root in her mind. She has to do this. The ability to pick out the fastest road to hurting the people you love isn't a talent Nami thinks Luffy ever needs to try and master.
The last thing she thinks before the dagger slices out and slashes a line across Luffy's arm is that the crew would never forgive her if they saw her, not Zoro or Usopp, not even Sanji who seems determined to paint her in the most flawless light his imagination can muster. Nami steps back with all the staggering grace of someone who's just been dealt a blow, her expression hardening with self-directed anger as she reaches out to pull his hat off his head and set it on her own instead.
She's crying even before she's turned around completely, the blood on the dagger's blade catching the light as she moves towards the gate to smear it across the surface, not breaking her stride or looking back even once as it swings open to let her through, leaving him behind to find the god chained below.
'What is wrong with you, Nami? It's like you don't have a heart at all.' The teasing lilt has left Nojiko's voice leaving discontent in its wake. ]
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She wants the hand he's settled on her arm to be more reassuring, but looking back at the stone gate's inscription, there's probably nothing in this world or the one they came from that could do that for her. While Luffy shields her as much as he can with this choice, he can't protect her from everything the gate asks of them.
Playing the villain isn't something Nami ever wanted to do, not when she was a girl, and not now, just when being surrounded by friends had started to let her believe she'd never have to take up a mantle like that again. Nami will do it. She's good at it - as the version of Nojiko whispering into her head reminds her. If Luffy can willingly give himself up to be chained and hurt, she can be the one to take on the grim business of hurting someone she cares about because something has to be done.
Drained nearly to the brink by their malicious surroundings, Nami steels her resolve, her hand settling firmly on Luffy's shoulder, her eyes clouding with all the tears she won't permit herself to shed until it's over. ] That's right. [ 'It has to be like this because it's always going to be like this for you.' Promises a voice full of a mother's love and disappointment, and the last sound Nami wants to hear while she's guiding Luffy back against the uneven stone wall behind him before stooping to get the weighty metal ring around his ankle. ] I'll let you out again.
[ After she goes through the gates alone.
There's a slight clatter as her hands - colder and shakier than she's ever known them to be - close around the dagger's hilt, making the blade tap against the stone it sits on before she pulls it closer and straightens up to chain his wrists to the walls as well. It has to be a betrayal or it won't work, and Nami's made enough people feel stabbed in the back to know that's not something that works if you do it in half-measures.
Nami's eyes are cold when they fix on Luffy's again, her hold on the dagger tightening as she squares her jaw, lips set in a firm, determined line, wanting to believe the voice that sounds the most like hers in the cacophony of loathing that's taken deep root in her mind. She has to do this. The ability to pick out the fastest road to hurting the people you love isn't a talent Nami thinks Luffy ever needs to try and master.
The last thing she thinks before the dagger slices out and slashes a line across Luffy's arm is that the crew would never forgive her if they saw her, not Zoro or Usopp, not even Sanji who seems determined to paint her in the most flawless light his imagination can muster. Nami steps back with all the staggering grace of someone who's just been dealt a blow, her expression hardening with self-directed anger as she reaches out to pull his hat off his head and set it on her own instead.
She's crying even before she's turned around completely, the blood on the dagger's blade catching the light as she moves towards the gate to smear it across the surface, not breaking her stride or looking back even once as it swings open to let her through, leaving him behind to find the god chained below.
'What is wrong with you, Nami? It's like you don't have a heart at all.' The teasing lilt has left Nojiko's voice leaving discontent in its wake. ]