( He startles under Lan Wangji's touch, a flinch that is more fracture than anything else. Later, he will loathe that it is this man who sees him like this but for a small, helpless second Wen Kexing is glad there is someone else. He thinks maybe had he been by himself he would have done something terrible.

He might not have come from here the same. )

I didn't know it.

( Decades, and the words were always Master. It makes him feel sick now.

But bidden, he takes a step, away, and then his resolve falters. )

I told myself I wouldn't run. ( A child, and then, a man. Wilfully proud, viciously steady. Can he truly walk away? Desperately, because there is no one else here but Lan Wangji. ) I told myself he couldn't cow me again, Master Lan. Do you understand?