[Do you ever see yourself in the mirror and think, ohh, he's ugly?]

Oh, she could give 'em a frit, our Van. Taught her everything I knew. Well, almost. Begged a favor, she did, and here I am, soft on those doll eyes.

[Doll? In the background, something whines, childlike but certainly not a child. The sound is soon muffled. Bloody furby, this thing, but, oh, let's not think on the 90s-]

Wanted to pass on some intel she, ahh, held back, let's say. Dead shamed by it, but what can you do? Women have their wiles.