thedreamer: (0400)
The Doctor ([personal profile] thedreamer) wrote in [community profile] westwhere 2022-11-01 02:18 am (UTC)

[ The way everything shifts, from Amy to Rory, to the time they spent on Darillium, time that he knows is coming, though he didn't realize until now that it wouldn't be with this face. He should have known somehow, probably, with how he'd put it off so long, always avoiding that last time because he couldn't bear it. Now knowing he doesn't get it at all, he feels an aching hurt deep inside, a jealousy even, of himself, of the man he's to become, the one who gets time with River that he'll never have.

And it clicks, for a fraction of a second, that this time here is Darillium, his Darillium, for all intents and purposes. Not what he ever wanted, but that's the way of things for them, it seems. Still, he feels a renewed purpose amongst the emotional devastation he's witnessing. River is here and whole and his, for however long they have.

Then everything shifts and she's a mother aching for her child. The only chance she'd ever been given for this and that had been his fault, too. They can't linger, it's dangerous, but for just a moment, he gets to pretend with her. For a moment, they're a family, in the only way they ever could be.

So, beyond reason and sanity, the Doctor kneels beside River, close enough for their shoulders to touch, and he smiles at the child that isn't real, but who's real enough to River for now. He doesn't say anything that would feed into the delusion, because his need to protect River is greater than anything else, even at the risk of hurting her, which he'll have to do in a moment. But, briefly, he gets to see her as a mother, something she'd always deserved. ]


The very best mummy you could ever hope to have. But she doesn't belong here anymore, she belongs with me.

[ He reaches out now, trying to lace his fingers together with River's, trying to tug her away. ]

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