[ To that, she doesn't want to answer. It's unfair of her to ask about vulnerability without sharing her own, isn't it? She knows she can be quite unfair at times, and this shouldn't be anything to create guilt. But...there's still a sense of responsibility present. She couldn't explain why if forced to put reason into words. This creature—this girl—admits to feeling unsure, after all. From the Underworld. How can it be a trap if it's so honest?
Her thumb rubs anxiously at the back of her own clasped hand, and a troubled gaze drops low while considering the question. She's unfair, after all, too afraid to admit overmuch about her pain. ]
It is never...peaceful.
[ It always hurts, and she can't remember what anything else feels like. It's a piece of her, but it isn't kind. She always feels that simmering pain; some part of her is forever writhing and scratching within. Even when she summoned it from within to banish her foes, a measure of it remained trapped. That near freedom (so close, so close) had been the cruelest suffering.
Her soul curses her thoughts, and her thoughts stab into her heart. She hurts herself as much as the Thing inside does. Vanessa never plans to find out if it would be less painful to let that piece of herself go free. Her control is too precious. Really, she fears...that it might feel wonderful. Then there would be no stopping it. ]
But releasing that part of me would not bring peace... Only pain for others. I would never have it so.
[ Yet, shouldn't this girl be trying to lure it out? Isn't that what anyone from the Underworld would do? Vanessa is wary, but still she follows. When they're out of the matron's, she'll slow, but only because she's looking around, still thinking on something more appetizing for the girl to eat. Vanessa ignores her rumbling stomach. How human. ]
no subject
Her thumb rubs anxiously at the back of her own clasped hand, and a troubled gaze drops low while considering the question. She's unfair, after all, too afraid to admit overmuch about her pain. ]
It is never...peaceful.
[ It always hurts, and she can't remember what anything else feels like. It's a piece of her, but it isn't kind. She always feels that simmering pain; some part of her is forever writhing and scratching within. Even when she summoned it from within to banish her foes, a measure of it remained trapped. That near freedom (so close, so close) had been the cruelest suffering.
Her soul curses her thoughts, and her thoughts stab into her heart. She hurts herself as much as the Thing inside does. Vanessa never plans to find out if it would be less painful to let that piece of herself go free. Her control is too precious. Really, she fears...that it might feel wonderful. Then there would be no stopping it. ]
But releasing that part of me would not bring peace... Only pain for others. I would never have it so.
[ Yet, shouldn't this girl be trying to lure it out? Isn't that what anyone from the Underworld would do? Vanessa is wary, but still she follows. When they're out of the matron's, she'll slow, but only because she's looking around, still thinking on something more appetizing for the girl to eat. Vanessa ignores her rumbling stomach. How human. ]