[Lucius, who has the stability and constitution of one of those little toy birds that dips forward to pretend at drinking, sways under the paternal clap on his back and tries not to stumble, face-first into the mess he's making. He's a terrible sailor, just awful. If it weren't for his manner of dress, literally nobody would believe he had ever set foot on a ship.]

Beating the what into who? Oh, uh, right, like pissing is it? I mean, I'm not against that sort of thing, but is it really appropriate to take a piss on deck?

[He thought the captain was a scary woman. He's as free and easy as the next fellow, probably moreso, but just taking himself out to piss on a spot seems...unlikely to gain her favor. Then again, it isn't as if he knows how women think or what they find acceptable. He's not likely to gain her favor, regardless of how hard he tries.

But, unfortunately, now he's terribly uncomfortable. He's not going to be able to piss on anything.]

Is there...perhaps something else I can try? Maybe something a bit more...academic, or, not...cleaning related?