[ He settles. Later, he will think, the house has stuttered in its breathing, that they should be so silent, so easily apparent to one another. Ghosts haunt the premise, Five said, yet Lan Wangji holds out a hand and senses only the wisps of time, the tremors of restlessness.
Nothing goes away. Only, as with energy, transforms. What could he achieve here, on his knees? Standing? Alert, a pillar of the world? Only the selfish, greedy sentiment that he has made attempt. If he persists, perhaps Five will indulge him, and some trinket of token gesture will be misinterpreted as Lan Wangji offsetting his transgression. And if not, his conscience may clear limpid that he has put himself forward to right all wrongs, but gone denied.
It is a simple thing, to beg forgiveness. Self-serving. Ancillary to the deed as done. His lips feel cracked and dry and torn, when he speaks — the inevitability: ]
Atonement is as snow. [ In Cloud Recesses, the mounds pale in exuberant abundance, and there's an ache in him for the cold, for a cure against the flush that damns his cheeks with silent fever. ] It hides the filth of wrongdoing. It cannot erase.
[ The lessons of a clan, reduced to painstaking revelation. The grandmaster will not thank him this. He finds himself hollowed for every exercise of sincerity. ]
no subject
Nothing goes away. Only, as with energy, transforms. What could he achieve here, on his knees? Standing? Alert, a pillar of the world? Only the selfish, greedy sentiment that he has made attempt. If he persists, perhaps Five will indulge him, and some trinket of token gesture will be misinterpreted as Lan Wangji offsetting his transgression. And if not, his conscience may clear limpid that he has put himself forward to right all wrongs, but gone denied.
It is a simple thing, to beg forgiveness. Self-serving. Ancillary to the deed as done. His lips feel cracked and dry and torn, when he speaks — the inevitability: ]
Atonement is as snow. [ In Cloud Recesses, the mounds pale in exuberant abundance, and there's an ache in him for the cold, for a cure against the flush that damns his cheeks with silent fever. ] It hides the filth of wrongdoing. It cannot erase.
[ The lessons of a clan, reduced to painstaking revelation. The grandmaster will not thank him this. He finds himself hollowed for every exercise of sincerity. ]
I leave you, without troubling further.