How do I tolerate it? Mostly, I don't. Not at home at least. I ignore most of it. People get extremely put upon if they think you are not giving them the attention they think they are entitled to.

[But then, back home, he is of high enough rank to do this almost with no consequence,s and he keeps the battles for his nephew, mostly because he needs them to grow up and start taking ownership of his actions.]

Then again, if you are supposed to be a bit naive anyway, asking people to explain what they mean while looking genuinely puzzled is probably going to make quite a few people sputter most gracelessly. At worst, they might mock you a bit as an uneducated country bumpkin, and isn't that what we want them to believe?