[This was all way outside his expertise. Sure, he'd run into troopers who wanted to follow every rule in the book, but all of them had the capacity for mayhem in them somewhere. This, though? He wasn't sure there was any mayhem in this person. Possibly not even mischief.]

Then we've got to work on getting you some subtle menace or something, otherwise this isn't going to work.

Or... I don't know. Keep a list of who you've acted pirate-y at, and pay them back once our job's done. That'd even things out, right?